I have to be honest with this post, I have been a little sad this week. I’ll tell you why in a moment, but first I have to preface with this – I try really, really hard to not complain. I despise relentless complainers and people who are negative. I have realized how hard it is to be around people who are constantly in that state, it’s both draining and sad. I have hit that point in my life before and I truly think it’s a downward spiral, it can affect both your mind and spirit and I firmly believe it affects your health. Nowadays, when I start drifting in that direction, I try to acknowledge when I am feeling sad or negative, to pinpoint where it is coming from, deal with it, let it out privately (and maybe a little to Mark) and move on. Sitting around and complaining about things you are unhappy about doesn’t change them or you, it simply makes it all seem so much worse. It also starts to push the people who love you, away. You are the only one that can control your life and the decisions you make, if you are unhappy with a situation, a person or how you are feeling, doing something to change it. Even what seems to be the littlest, most insignificant action is better than doing nothing at all.

So back to why I am feeling sad, Saturday afternoon I was in my kitchen at home, baking pumpkins from the market, so that I could puree and freeze the flesh and toast the seeds for a yummy fall snack. As the last pumpkin was finishing baking, I was loading the dishwasher with all the dishes I had used, I hate a messy kitchen. As I was bent over the dishwasher and was standing up, I sneezed so violently at that same moment and instantly felt pain in my low back. It was excruciating. So much so that I had to call Mark into the room to help me down to lay on the floor of the kitchen. I don’t think I am a wuss about pain, I try really hard to be tough. Prior to this, probably the worst injury I can recall is when I broke my foot in college and I cried much, much harder when this happened to me on Saturday afternoon. Saturday and Sunday were quite rough, I needed help standing up, sitting down and getting up the stairs. I couldn’t roll over in bed. It sucked, there really is no other way to say it.

I emailed my amazing chiropractor, Elyssa, shortly after it happened, who is also one of my yoga instructors and she gave me some instructions on what to do to ease the pain and get through the worst of it and I made an appointment to see her first thing Monday morning. By Monday morning I was already feeling a bit better, though with every sneeze, I took two steps backward again (if you know me, you know how much I sneeze, so this part sucked). After the appointment with Elyssa, I already felt a bit better, some of the muscular tension around the pain had lessened and I just felt less stressed and sad. I have been doing some gentle cat and cow poses along with baby cobra. Each day it’s a bit better and I can tell I am on the mend. The hardest part right now is that I can move and twist, I can even get into downward dog, I am sleeping better, but I still can hardly bend forward at my waist, it is just so painful.

I am sad because all of this means at the minimum I have to take at least a week away from my yoga practice and cooking has been slowed down quite a bit, it’s hard to stand over the kitchen counter and cut vegetables and it’s quite painful to bend over to get stuff out of the oven. Don’t get me wrong, I still managed to make a huge pot of vegetable soup Monday night and I roasted a batch of Roma tomatoes to freeze last night, but I have had to slow everything down and not overdo it and make things worse. I know I am lucky that because of my daily yoga practice and the way I eat, I am healing much quicker than if I was without these things, but it is still hard for me to have to sit still and not be active. Over the last few days, not only am I thankful for all the leftovers we have in the fridge, but I am super thankful that I have an amazing husband that makes everything easier. He has had to pick up the slack on doing dishes (I am a little afraid of that dishwasher now), cleaning cat boxes and other things. Because my job requires me to sit at a computer all day, I have had to suck it up and just power through all of this. We have too much work on the books for me to just go lay in bed all day and feel sorry for myself. I am just working with a big pillow behind my back, lots of ice packs and making sure I get up often and move around and stretch. I am getting there.

The reason I decided to share this with you is because when this happened, I was on day 6 of my cleanse. I instantly wanted to just quit the cleanse, have a glass of wine, something sweet and maybe some cheese, yeh cheese would make me feel better. I wanted comfort and sadly I actually thought for a bit that food would give it to me. Thankfully, I sat down and really thought about it, I know that alcohol, sugar are dairy are all inflammatory foods and no matter what they would or wouldn’t do to me physically, I knew it wouldn’t fix this, if anything it would make it worse. (Read this list of the top 10 inflammatory foods, strangely all things I am avoiding while on this cleanse, so luck is on my side in that sense, I didn’t have to remove anything from my diet to ease the healing.) Ultimately, I ate some leftover vegan fettucine alfredo for dinner that night and made my way to bed before 9:30pm, since I knew a good night sleep would do me good.

Sunday morning I was still wanting something more than fresh vegetable juice, so I decided to make this smoothie. It felt naughty, but it was totally cleanse-friendly and with my extreme obsession with all things fall, I knew it would lift my spirits. And, that it did.

It actually tastes like pumpkin pie in a glass. It’s creamy, thick and full of the perfect pumpkin pie spices. It was so filling that I went right through lunchtime and never felt hungry. I love to eat and hate missing meals, so I knew this smoothie was magical. It’s thick just like a milkshake and the sweetness from the dates is incredible.

As much as food can be comfort and this isn’t a bad thing in the least, it’s also quite exciting when you can shift your mindset away from the really bad stuff to find that comfort in other, healthier foods. I made it through the worst of this back pain, I stuck with my cleanse, I didn’t take a single medication and I am proud of myself. I have another appointment with my chiropractor tomorrow and I am hoping that maybe next week I can get myself to a gentle/restorative yoga class.

Vegan Pumpkin Pie Smoothie
serves 2

3/4 cup cooked pumpkin (you can use canned, but fresh is much better)
1 1/2 cups unsweetened organic vanilla almond milk
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, finely minced
2-3 Medjool dates, pits removed (soak first if they aren’t soft)
(You can add honey or maple syrup if you wish for it to be sweeter)
*you can experiment with adding a small handful of raw pecans to make it even more creamy and to get a nice lovely taste. I have done this when I have them on hand and it’s so delicious.

Add all of your ingredients to the blender. Puree until smooth and creamy.

If your pumpkin and/or almond milk isn’t cold, you could add a handful of ice. I decided not to, so it would stay as creamy as possible. You can also add a splash of water or additional almond milk if your smoothie is too thick. Top with a sprinkle of cinnamon and/or nutmeg.